[Initial description (post dated 8-16-12), mission/scopes of this project and information about the anonymous survey at http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/NTVMRY5 can be seen in previous posts below. I've also added a page listing these to avoid scrolling as there are more updates, see list on righthand side.]
I had no idea I'd be posting another update again so soon but here we go. I have no idea how to do this blogging thing in a user-friendly way. I'm open to suggestions on a better way, please email me if you have any. (My momma brain seems to have sucked any technology savviness I had out of me.)
This project is continually pushing me further and further out of my comfort zone. Some of you may be reading this because of it. Yesterday I handed out 60 cards with the survey info on it. I've never even done such a thing for my own business or any other endeavor. Today I went to speak to a moms group. What I imagined was walking in nervously telling them about my survey and running out as quickly as possible. What occurred was much more powerful. I walked in and no one was there. I waited a few minutes and another mom walked in. Our kids played and I said nothing about my project. A little later another mom walked in, "oh good some new moms, how exciting to not be the only ones". My heart sank. As we were talking all of a sudden one mom said "I wish I could go back to before I was a mom and slap myself for what I thought about other moms". And there was my opening, deep breath...
As I began to talk about this project I heard the scope expand once again but this time through my own words. I began..."I'm feeling guided to pursue this project that explores the power and ripple effect of telling the truth" and then told them some of the details. I braced myself and held my breath. Out of these two moms I heard "that's beautiful...there's so much unsaid..." and I exhaled. Then I heard the statement that shattered all of my nervousness, "there is so much shame that comes with being a mom".
What resulted (for me anyway) was this amazing genuine exchange between three moms. One mom shared (and gave me permission to blog) "I don't go to the Y to workout. I drop my kids in the daycare knowing they are safe and I take a nice, long shower. It's how I stay sane." As these women shared some of their stories I shared some of mine as well, some of which in the spirit of this project I will share with you now.
Prior to having my daughter, in an effort to become less introverted, I joined The Networking Group (TNC which became Pro Alliances). It was an amazing experience for me and took my business to the point that when the economy was struggling thankfully my little wellness practice was recession proof. I went from feeling like a gold fish in a shark tank the first meeting to actually running part of the meetings as (ironically) the Communications Chair. Something happened though when my daughter was born, a whole new HUGE wall of insecurity went up. I stopped networking for various reasons and excuses: I'm only working part time and have more clients than I can schedule right now so I don't need new contacts, my daughter doesn't go to daycare and I can't take her with me. (I didn't even go to the Working Moms Networking Group, I had previously been attending, which is open to you bringing your kids.) Mostly though I thought, I am a diapering and breastfeeding machine...I have nothing to say...what am I going to talk about...my kid's super poop of the day. At that point I withdrew and became even more introverted than before. I even drew back from some people close to me...I have nothing of value to share with them...I don't want to be that person that only talks about her kid...I have nothing else to talk about.
Talking with these two moms today confirmed that I'm not the only one that is experiencing this...it is a common theme. One of the moms mentioned that she recently connected with a group of women on facebook that feel the same way...a group of 70. Thank you for the wonderful conversation and telling your facebook group about this...I hope to see you on there soon...bear with me, baby steps...
Also I look forward to our upcoming play dates. A wonderful side effect of mom stepping up and out of her shame...my daughter gets to have more play date friends. And the power of sharing the truth ripples on...
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